Let Me Lend You A Hand

"I can see you're hurting, something is bothering you."

"My life is a living hell!"

"You need to talk about it. Open up!"

"It won't make any difference."

"There you go being negative! When you share things you feel better."

"No, it only makes things worse."

"Put your trust in the universe. It is conspiring to help you!"

"Well, bully for it. But that's no help either."

"You can't just shut yourself off."

"It's the way of the world."

"Not true! Give love and you will get love in return."

"Love doesn't help."

"Of course love helps. God is love. Remember: God doesn't give us any more than we can handle."

"That's a vile and vicious thing to say."

"How can you possibly say that?"

"That's just another way of turning your back on people needing help."

"But you must believe in the power of prayer!"

"Can I pray you'll leave me alone?"

"God can do anything. I'm here to remind you of that."

"God is the one bringing my killing stress."

"You should do something wonderful today. Treat yourself! Go for a fine walk in the park."

"Jesus fucking Christ. You don't understand a damn thing, do you, if you think that's some sort of fucking solution to anything?"

"Make me understand!"

"Make yourself understand."

"I can't if you don't tell me."

"It's really not any of your business."

"We're all in this together! One person's problem is every person's problem! Don't put yourself on an island. United we stand, divided we fall."

"Nobody believes that. It's every man for himself."

"Brother, I'm here today to prove you wrong. I bring you the Word of salvation and the cup of human kindness. The world is what we make of it. You need to stop doing this to yourself!"

"You're just not going to stop being a busybody, are you?"

"Never! I'm with you all the way, down the line and to the end. The fires of hell can't stop me. I am devotion itself."

"Sheesh...OK, do you really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"I mean, do you REALLY want to know? You want to know this to your dying fucking day never to escape?"

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Speak! Speak and set yourself free!"

"I can't pay my rent."

"Oh!...well...hmmmm...uh, well...I gotta go. See ya! I'm sure you'll be fine."

Why is it every time I speak of the universe people speak of paying the rent, and when I speak of paying the rent people speak of the universe?