Black Widow Bites

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) Autopsy results were returned today for Deborah Hanssen, aka the Black Widow Killer accused of poisoning each of her three husbands. Chemical analysis revealed Mrs. Hanssen died of the same poison she used on her spouses. The poison presumably was smuggled on her person when booked into jail. Her alleged killings of three high profile Bay area businessmen caused a national media sensation with a trial date yet to be set. A suicide note was found at the scene in her own handwriting. Police report the note simply stated, "I only know how to kill".

*****

"I'm trapped...I'm trapped..." She slumped down, crestfallen, finally unable to escape the gathering doom chasing her for so many years. She'd waited and waited, always kicking the can down the road, letting her emotional debts pile up and now...it was too late. A lifetime of lies had come home to roost.

She couldn't stand another day living the lie of her marriage contract. She'd bet her life on living it forever, that she had made the right choice, that she was one of the "smart ones". But with his new plans to move to a Caribbean island and "go native" for the rest of their lives she knew she could not possibly stomach that in any form, fashion or manner whatsoever. She'd tried every argument she could think of, every possible scenario of making it work. But she inevitably was drawn to the same conclusion over and over.

"I'm trapped...I'm trapped..."

Her roots, her life support system, the last vestiges of her identity were firmly planted in San Francisco. She knew it was dangerous to have made such an extreme commitment but comes a time when the weight is too heavy and the burdens have to drop. She'd secretly anchored her ship and any moving it would rip her in two. She knew her dire predicament may sound outrageous to an outsider but she had learned over the years this was a reality she could not ignore without devastating consequences.

She considered divorce, of losing everything. She told herself she could always step out on her own even as she decayed inside, immersing herself more and more into a lifestyle of luxury and painless pampering that became her single last pleasure. But now, in this instant, in the twinkling of an eye, she knew she could never go back. The luxury and the insulation had become as much a part of her as the limbs on her body.

Hard to go back after a taste of this. Very, very hard.

The slide had been long and gradual, selling her considerable charms for a life of ease and approval. She thought she'd be called out for giving away pieces of her soul. But no one said a word! Some were even encouraging. Everyone was doing it - how bad could it be? She hated being called the "good girl" and wanted show she too could walk on the wild side. For the longest time, she lived the dream, having her cake and eating it too.

Not that there's hadn't been any side effects. Many of the things she most liked about herself were disappearing. But what the hell. Had 'em once, could always get 'em back! But time stole her physical charms and she was stuck as a pauper at a market with nothing left to sell. She knew that day was coming but on that day she'd then right all the wrongs of her past. Or would she?

Or could she?

Her causes, her precious causes she'd fought for over the years. What did they mean now? What did it all add up to? Nothing and nothing. She'd fought for "justice" in the lives of others, never bothering to pursue justice in her own life. Damn him! If only he hadn't decided to make this infernal move! However miserable, life could still limp along if he changed his mind. Or better yet, have him be simply out of the way.

She'd once read about the murder of a man by slow poisoning. She made a mental note of it. Did she know even then this was her fate? Sure, this was a sin. But who had ever said a word against her sin before? If no one had found out by now, would they ever? And just imagine the reward! No more threats to her life. She'd be on easy street that no one could take away. There were only two ways out of the trap: either she died or he died.

Her topless volleyball would have
mortified her religious parents

At the funeral she surprised even herself with her authenticity. "Bad heart" the lamented diagnosis. The widow in the black veil. It suited her so well! The world really is rotten to the core, never suspecting a thing. Her school friends who'd mocked her as a "goody-goody" were right. There are no rules to life. Why bother to be good? Why bother to be anything but a taker? To be anything else is to be a sucker!

Having sipped from the cup of betrayal her thirst became unquenchable. The enigma of her smiling vixen persona attracted ill bent suitors by the dozen, appealing to the worst of men's desires of mistreatment. Hell, she figured, why not kill these losers? She'd be doing them a favor. The seduction kept her alive, feeding off their naïve offerings, fools thinking if they deified her as an angel that somehow made them an angel too. That made her feel morally superior.

For the second murder she recruited a helper, sharing the thrill of the kill. Life was only getting better and better! Double the fun with a co-conspirator. Sex was off the charts, driving them both crazy in unfettered honesty. Not only that, but her accomplice was a long time friend of her second victim. Planning the deliberate demise of the willfully ignorant put him on a new high too. "I feel like the President!" Worse than crack is this drug of betrayal.

Too late did her accomplice realize his fate. He'd thought himself smarter, free of disillusionment. Sharing the secret was a bond she'd never break, he believed. But she couldn't kill him slowly like the others, he'd catch on. He had to be poisoned in a single stroke then come up with an explanation later. After him, she'd be done with marriage and its false promises. The world is a sham. Life is a sham. Right and wrong have no meaning. She'd spend the rest of her life proving that - in high style to boot!

But her explanation proved false and payment had to be made. Discovering her last husband poisoned caused her previous two to be exhumed. Her dark odyssey played out on the front page day after day to her horror. She'd convinced herself she'd be embraced for wicked ways by a wicked world. But even a wicked world need keep pretense of morality. They must prosecute her in full rage lest they betray their own selfish desires. But avoiding payment had been the theme of her life. Swallowing the fatal dose, she wondered if there had been any other way...