Overhaulin' The Soul

What a guy!

Braswell. That's all anybody called him. "Bastard Braswell", "Old man Braswell", "Braswell the butthead". No one ever had much use for him nor he them. Hell, I think even his kids called him Braswell. They couldn't wait to get out of that damn house. I don't blame them.

He got more eccentric over the years after the two sons left. He irked his oil fearing Texas neighbors to no end when he put solar panels up on his house - this was looong before solar was chic. He also got religion, becoming a devoted follower of prosperity preacher Kenneth Copeland. It further irked his neighbors when Braswell made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I don't think anyone really had a beef with that sort of pilgrimage per se, it was just the fact he was doing it.

"Individual responsibility" was his wall to the world. He'd never take anything from anyone no matter how dire his situation. The idea of feeling obligated filled him with a whole and irrational fear. He'd lash out like a wounded animal at any offers of help or even simple kindness. After a while, no one offered anymore out of a sense of self-preservation. Negative is as negative does and Braswell built his life around justifying that negativity.

Patrolling his property like a staff sergeant, he maintained a pristine environment. No way would he ever give possible cause for complaint to his enemy neighbors to give them the upper hand - and thus be obligated. But there was one curious exception to this rule: one half of Braswell's two car garage. It was there he stored his 69 Hemi Cuda. "Stored" being a gracious term as it was permanently parsed out in hopes of one day being the "baddest Cuda ever built."

To me that strung out car represented something more: an unfulfilled dream. Somewhere deep inside lay Braswell's unfulfilled dream and only he knew what it was. Knowing him, he'd never admit it but he had to express it somehow. And he did that through detached tires, primed unpainted fenders and an open hood never closing, waiting on something to come along and make it complete. Everyone else called the car parts nothing but an "eyesore".

One day I caught him crying in the garage. I was across the street and something drew my eye over to look at him. He immediately sensed me, scowled and stormed inside. That got me to thinking - thinking of something that'd never crossed my mind before: of doing something nice for Braswell. In fact, it struck me as curious I'd never thought of it before. How obvious! That's when I wrote my letter to Overhaulin'.

In the Overhaulin' show they sneak away a person's car for a week and return a one-off customized Chip Foose mind-blowing car that's out of this world. Chip is a happy giver and leaves no detail unturned. I often catch myself crying when the end reveal is done and the unsuspecting owner "has his life change", as they like to say on the show.

To nominate someone you're supposed to say how deserving they are. Having gone through some sort of sacrifice or health issue helps. But Braswell was the neighborhood asshole. So I had to come up with something unique.

Hi Chip,

I've often heard you say you love changing people's lives by giving them their dream car. You like to find deserving souls and reward them, so to speak. But I think that's limiting yourself and should try giving a so-called undeserving soul a chance. Talk about changing a life! Negative people never expect anything good to happen to them. They even avoid it sometimes just to hold on to their negative attitude! Believe me, I know. We have just such a guy here in our neighborhood reviled by everyone. No one reaches out to him anymore, he just keeps biting people's heads off.

I know this request may sound crazy to you but it makes perfect sense to me. I'm not even sure what kind of reaction you would get from him. I do believe it would be one of your most watched episodes. I do hope you will give this some thought. Thanks.

In the no-good-deed-shall-go-unpunished category, guess who got named as the insider. Chip even replied he wondered why he'd never thought of this before too. So I guess I was hooked at that point. And the stars really aligned for this endeavor when I learned Braswell was taking his undercarriage out to be powder coated, a long and arduous process as the entire car has to be dismantled. Knowing where he was going to have this done, I told Tony, the shop's owner, of the plans for Braswell's car.

He agreed to come up with an excuse for Braswell to bring along the car's dismantled body panels so the Overhaulin' crew would have those available to them. I was starting to get excited! As part of the surprise, the car's owner is pranked as to why his car is missing. This case was a little different as it would easily take a week for the powder coating. But my devious mind had something else in store!

I told the Overhaulin' pranksters that if Braswell thought something had happened to his car due to negligence that would completely feed into his negativity and anger. My suggestion was for Tony to say he forgot to lock the chain link fence one night and Braswell's car got stolen. The fake police would tell Braswell since his car was already in pieces it would make it very easy to sell them on the black market and would be virtually untraceable.

Tony actually knew Braswell and couldn't wait to deliver the "bad news". Braswell took it as expected. "How could you be so careless! I'll sue you for all your worth! You're an idiot! Do you hear me? An idiot!" Most marks on the show get upset to one degree or another when their car is gone but no one ever exploded like Braswell. Boy howdy! Talk about a bleepfest. I actually got worried we were going to give him a heart attack.

Hardest part of the prank was when I had to mosey over to Braswell's garage and ask him about the empty space to make sure he was buying our story. I expected to get his "nosey parker" routine but he was actually glad to see me. It gave him a chance to rage and vent, never once getting angry at me for violating the almighty sanctity of his privacy. I made all sorts of sympathetic sounds as my stomach churned to get out of there. Funnily, I actually felt good afterwards for approaching him even it was under false pretenses.

When the Overhaulin' fake police knocked on Braswell's door to ask him to come identify a stolen hemi Cuda they'd found the hidden cameras showed a confused but hopeful face. The old fucker could smile after all. God knows it had been a week of hell for him. He couldn't help but spill his guts on the ride over telling how much that car meant to him and this was perhaps the worst week of his life. He even started thanking the officers for their good work even at the risk of being - gasp! - obligated.

Unfuckingbelievably gorgeous result!

When they showed him into the warehouse where his fully restored car was Braswell was crushed. He immediately turned on the police for their gross incompetence explaining his car looked nothing like that. That's when the Overhaulin' crew revealed themselves and that the gorgeous beast in front him was actually his car. The man almost fainted and had to be grabbed before he fell from dizziness. Braswell was very distrustful at first but gradually came to accept that yes indeed, that was his beloved 69 Cuda.

Shit, I was bawling at that point. Braswell was like a little boy, scared to even touch it. He ran his hand along the fender as he would the body of a beautiful woman. He caressed the interior seats with awe but what really got him was the engine. I told Chip that Braswell wanted the baddest Cuda around so Chip arranged for a special high performance "Terracuda" hemi to be built and installed. Braswell not only had a one off car design but a one off engine to match! That's when Braswell broke down and cried, unable to face the cameras or the crew.

Things went south from there. I heard him mutter "I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this" on his way back out the warehouse entrance. I stayed hidden watching on closed circuit TV but no one could coax him back inside. I suddenly realized maybe I hadn't been so smart playing God with somebody's life. I knew how he must be feeling: Braswell was torn between his desire for the car and the desire to hold on to his negative ways. Accepting the car would mean never again being able to say "everybody's out to get me!"

I can't tell you how it finally turned out. You'll have to tune into the episode to find out. One thing I can tell you I was right about this being one of - if not the most - unique episodes in Overhaulin' history. Kindness really can change the world and this affair made me think of my own insanity in sometimes refusing kindness just like Braswell had. I guess maybe a lot of lives got changed that day. Be prepared to be surprised.