I freely confess to suicidal thoughts. The world is a prison I can not want. What can I do if a pine box is the only way out? Who but I can pay my rent? There's no way out - except to be perfect like Jesse and Celeste. Christ, I used to like Jews until I meet these fuckers.
Rashida Jones is daughter of the great Quincy Jones, winner of 27 well deserved Grammy awards. She's the star and perpetrator of this self-indulgent fantasy flick of the Perfect Couple who's so darned perfect they even have the Perfect Divorce! Ready to vomit yet? Repeated viewings will turn you anorexic.
Don't get me wrong, Rashida has got something. She first caught my eye in "The Social Network" and she had me asking myself, "Who is that woman?" Turns out it was merely her phenomenal breeding I was noticing. But she don't step outside that bubble she gonna pop herself like a week old zit! Many people never make that step. Still, I'd fuck her - once (before she fades into oblivion).
Celeste (Rashida) is the so-self-aware-I-know-you-better-than-you-know-yourself person who has problems "being right all the time" but because she's self-aware of that it makes that OK too! The character's attempts at self-deprecation ring hollow and what's supposed to be moments of charming vulnerability to one's weaknesses turn out to be moments you just want to boo. (For charming vulnerability see Hugh Grant in "About a Boy", a movie I've watched over a dozen times).
I love me!
Poor Rashida was surely laughing as she wrote the script, imagining the hilarity to ensue. "Sounded funnier in my head" must have been the catchphrase during filming. The comedic efforts are wholly uncoordinated and lines are painfully mis-delivered - by everyone. (OK, the mock German while reading the menus was kinda funny.) Leave comedy to the professionals, Rashida. It's something that cannot be taught - even to perfect people.
As for Jesse, he's a just a prop for Celeste's odyssey of self-exploration. His issues are convenient targets of failing to achieve worldly success (Celeste is a best-selling author) and wallowing in self-pleasure. But what is Celeste (or Rashida) as a Wal-Mart cashier? Living in a household where she witnessed firsthand the rewards of having talent, Rashida must be living under the burden of having to live up to that high mantle. The film certainly reeks of that strain anyway.
When time comes to pull that trigger and I feel my nerve failing, I need only put on a copy of this movie to realize my hopeless inadequacies and pointless existence in the wonderful pain-free bubble world of Rashida/Celeste whose awesome talent spares her from the mires of a soul-eating job and cut-throat sharks who'd pleasure in her rape and killing. Even divorce is good for perfect people who still only want each other to "find happiness". Just once I'd like to see her 'fess up and say, "I hope you're miserable as fuck without me." But then, that wouldn't be perfect - merely human.
Go see "About a boy" instead
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