Un-Deliverance

Ugh, salt water.

That was my first thought as I regained consciousness with a slap from the ocean spray. The sky was a complete grey gloom of clouds with patches of darkness looming ominously within. The first impression in the drowsiness of my fog was what a magnificent picture of horror this tapestry in the sky, of how I would love to paint this darkness and memorialize for all time. "See what truly lies deep in the ocean!" I'd proclaim.

Then I realized I wasn't safe. The choppiness of the waters had me rising and falling like a roller coaster and if I got too much water in I'd surely sink. This was my first moment of a growing, dreading panic. What was I doing here anyway? The ocean is not my friend when alone.

The storm. There had been a terrible storm on the ship. I hit my head running to safety as I heard the orders to prepare for gale winds. What was it I hit? Did I fall? I can't remember. But how did I end up on this lifeboat? Did the ship go down and I the only survivor? But why save me? And if they were trying to save me then why no provisions here?

Oh, my God. I'm going to die at sea.

I crumpled back down in despair, trying to retrace the timeline, to find the missing piece of information that might save me as the charcoal grey of darkness swallowed me whole, unseen to any eyes human or angelic, sharing the fate of so many ancient mariners. My spine went cold. Should I simply jump overboard and drown now? I must know what happened!

I was knocked out. The ship was in trouble. They must have placed me in the lifeboat for safekeeping. And then, the ship sank with only me surviving? But someone would have had to detach the craft. Maybe that was the last act of someone before being swept overboard. But if someone had time to release the mechanism they certainly had time to climb aboard. It just doesn't make sense!

Nothing. There's nothing here at all. Wait a minute. What's wrong with this picture? I can't quite grasp it...

I'll have to remember later. My stomach is churning, my mind is paralyzing in fear. Don't give up yet. The horizon! Search the horizon, you fool!

Bouncing on the waves I squint my eyes. I have no sense of direction or where I came from. I find a point and slowly scan, making sure beyond all doubt before moving on. Of course, if the ship has sunk there will be nothing to find. Actually, it had to of since with this would leave them with no lifeboat. It would be insane - and legally negligent - to jettison their one backup. It makes sense now. Something broke. That's how I managed to detach. No other possible explanation.

A strange calmness came over me. Suddenly, a surreal serenity took over, surrendering to the awesome power of nature upon the high sea. I just wanted to be swept away, to stop fighting the flow. How glorious would that be if I could do that and live? If I could just lay down and let Nature guide me to safety. I'd never felt such peace ever in my life as in this most hopeless of all hopeless moments in my life. Was I becoming insane, disconnecting from all reality?

The urge to lay back down and drift was overpowering, to pretend there really is a God who cares, that I really don't have to do everything on my own. Surrender! This is the here and now, no need to understand what can't be known. I have a good guess what happened, just let it go. In the morning light would come clarity. The horizon is blank.

I lay my head down and relaxed. This would be kind of fun if the danger were removed! I felt a strange guilt enjoying it, like some sort of amusement park ride. Still, I don't know how I'll manage to sleep with the hands of doom gripping my neck in a seemingly inescapable choke hold. All I can do is set my mind free; drifting, bouncing, guided by forces over which I have no say...

The transponder!

The transponder is missing! How can that be? I remember the crew explaining it's bolted in as a precaution. No way for it not to be here. I lunged forward to the spot I remembered. The bolt holes were still there. Someone must have...

What the hell is going on??????? What really happened? This can't have been done on purpose! Think! Think! They didn't leave me out here. I just can't fathom...

Wild gyrations fluctuated through my mind, flashing between terror and hell. No, no, no, no, no. They didn't set me adrift. What did I do? Yes, I was an outsider but... Think of a good reason for it being gone. I can't! You're doubting your fellow man. You and your bad attitude again! But nothing else makes sense. See? This is why people bristle with your negativity. Why can't you see the good? I'm only trying to be honest. Isn't that the goal? Hah! Like there's an honest bone in your body. No wonder they dumped you.

Confused, drowning in disbelief, I sat back up, furious to find to some clue - any clue! That's when I saw the speck of light. Those motherfuckers didn't sink after all!

Part of me desperately wanted to cry. What utter rejection. To set me adrift at my most vulnerable moment. Maybe...maybe there's something I haven't thought of...some comforting story to explain away the madness. I didn't have all the facts. Why assume the worst? How did I get into this situation? I must be the greatest fool alive! No one but I could have this happen. Un-fucking-believable. A nightmare to end all nightmares. That is my end.

The loneliness of this moment at the mercy of man and high seas. Abandoned by the universe. My whole life I'd struggled to find deliverance. I've been foolish in my choices. Now I see the sum total of my idiocy. Were they laughing as they unbolted the transponder and released me to my fate? Had I drawn out some urge in them to humiliate me - to death? I'd been what I thought expediently silent on the stupidity of their notions as I thought on such a small ship best not to make waves. I never wanted to suspect treachery like this, though.

To hell with it. I'll go back to my original desire for the morning light. Logically, I had no reason to find hope in that. The water was here. The water was there. The water was everywhere. Game over. Regardless, for once, I'll follow my instincts. And somehow I knew doing that would piss off my betrayers. I would have the last laugh!

Jesus! I must be losing it! How can you expect to have the last laugh, dead man?

Then I noticed something. Can't be! The light is getting brighter. They're heading straight for me! Oh, you fool! You idiot! Always thinking the worst. Remember, when you get back on board never for a moment betray your doubts. Act like you never suspected a thing. Oh, heck maybe they had given in to a sudden impulse of cruelty and were now steaming back in a storm of regret. Forgive them and make peace until you get back on land. Land! I'll never leave goddam land again!

A searchlight beamed out from the bow. I could hear voices. They sounded merry. That's a good sign, right? Happy to get me back. I'll lie my fucking head off. No more honesty for me! I'll have to fake like hell I'm one of them for the next few days - which seems like an eternity at the moment. But certainly not impossible in the course of history of human events.

So why was my stomach sinking at the very point of my salvation? Fuck you and your goddam integrity. It's going to get me killed. I'll be honest again when I'm safe back on land. What's the point of being honest and dead? Live to fight another day!

Still, my stomach sank and my mind revolted at the return of the ship. Keep under control! Here it is!

Everyone was on the edge facing me. They had drinks raised high, laughing at my position, hailing in mockery, "Bon voyage!" I wished I'd had the spirit to lash back at them but I was too dumbstruck to even twitch my open mouth. This pleased them, as if proving them to be in the right. I was so overwhelmed at this point I was swayed to believe them. Part of me too believed I deserved this.

As they swooshed on through the waves yelling out "Bye-bye!" I saw a crewman holding up the transponder in victory. "Good riddance, you ..." What he said after was garbled by the waves. Shattered, I fell back down, gripping my seat. So this is me. Should I give in to their judgement? Wasn't I just being self-serving to believe any different? Part of me was sure I was better than they thought - the rest of me was sure I was left to die at sea come what may.

How could I fight back? I've never been so frustrated and outraged in my life!! Should I just let it go like I was before? I couldn't. I felt too much like an idiot - plus I wanted to fight back in righteous anger! "I'm going to break your fucking necks if I get a hold of you!" And I wanted to point out they had no lifeboat now if they hit the reef. Take that! And another thing...

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to die and they will go on to live unpunished lives as the world is wont to do. Man, I just can't believe this planet. I'm certainly no angel. I just wish reason would be given a chance. Don't the bad guys ever pay a price? Doesn't the insanity have to end sometime? Certainly, if I had sold my soul to be a CEO I wouldn't be in the position I am now.

The night sky was shades of grey from a hidden moon. The water was calmer now. In one sense it was the perfect backdrop to do some thinking - and I certainly have a lot to think about. Wow. Just wow. Did all that really just happen? Is this a dream? I've had dreams like this before. Were those monsters simply carrying out Nature's orders to destroy me? The hatred in my heart pleaded for revenge.

That, of course, was impossible. They were pouring drinks and carrying on and fucking into the night. All I could think of was limiting their laughter. No way was I going to spend days at sea roasting under the sun with no water, my mind going mad oscillating between a hopeless hope and complete despair. "Cling to life, you moron!" I could hear them jeer. "Extend your misery!" I sat up and stared down at the silky, black waters so innocently at peace.

You'll be giving into anger. Remember how you said you didn't want to do that anymore? But this is different! Who wouldn't be angry? I mean, if anger were ever justified, this is it! Consider your heart. How does your heart feel? It feels bad but so what? I'm dead anyway. You really want me to believe this good feeling I have of just floating along here is really going to lead to something? That's all I've done my whole fucking wasted life is place faith in impossible dreams. Certainly it's high time I grew up and faced the facts!

My heart kept speaking but it was drowned out by the sound of the laughing ship in my mind. If I die now I can end the suffering. Nothing has ever worked out for me before. Helluva time to think it would start now! Even God must be shaking Her head at this fool. End your misery. God doesn't want you to suffer. You've never had faith before. Time to try before the end. Have the courage to quickly and decidedly drown in the cold waters.

A single tear dropped in the ocean from my overhung face. The longer I stared, the weaker I got, wanting to stay on. Time to face reality.

******

News reports told of a ship that had foolishly strayed right into the heart of a storm, sinking with all aboard. The route of her final hours made no sense and most likely the crew was not familiar with the path through the reef coming from the direction they did. Unexplained was why the lifeboat was not deployed.

Unreported was the story of a dingy washing up ashore that morning on an island inhabited by natives, a popular destination point for tourists. The boy who found it claimed he maybe saw footsteps leading away but the ensuing crowd trampled away any evidence. How could anyone make it there alive? It was not a lifeboat, it had no transponder. Most probably any occupants died at sea.

I Saw Fire In The Rain

I don't know what woke me up. It was in the deep of the night where you know things you don't want to know. I couldn't open my eyes more than halfway, my eyelids firmly resisting, already begrudging me what sight I had.

I noticed a glow from the bedroom window and looked outside to see a tree on fire in the rain. I wondered what was wrong, for either the tree was not really on fire or the rain was not really rain. Such clarity of confusion drove me mad, paralyzing me. Better I had stayed ignorant, part of me pleaded. "But I have to know," I responded. But I also knew the state of madness that held me in its grip was intolerable in the extreme.

Had I a glimpse of hell? Is this purgatory? That's certainly my feeling. This can't go on, so I turned away and went back to bed, hoping for the best but fearing the worst. Sure enough, the vision followed me to my dreams. "Why doesn't the rain put out the fire? Has Mankind become so perverse the laws of nature have reversed?" I was outside, in the rain, feeling the heat of the flames. When I woke up I ran to the window, this time eyes wide open, no tricks. But all was black in the moonless night.

Next morning I convinced myself it had never happened, that it had been a dream from start to finish. Mad tales like these get one ostracized. And, well, I wasn't too sure about me either after that. Mind playing tricks on me! "That's what purgatory is," I assured myself, "when you can't tell illusion from reality." So why was my heart pounding when I stepped out the door?



The ground was damp, the tree was burnt. But which had won, the fire or the rain? If only I hadn't turned away. Suddenly, to know this seemed the most important thing in the world; life or death. I'd missed my one chance, forced to live in forever ignorance the rest of my days, permanently damaged. All I'd wanted to do was turn away and sleep. I thought I was being cursed in a moment of blessing. If only I had faced it! Here in the sunlight I was brimming with useless courage, sort of like swearing to Heaven, "I can do it!" before coming here to die in fear.

I saw others walking with scared looks on their faces. Before I could finish my question they answered they were fine and would speak no more. Where is the hope in that? Then I overheard some passing talk of a person who'd stayed and watched eyes wide open, not running away like I had, able to lead a life I never can. The thought of that drove me insane with jealous rage. Someone like that could expose me. Die fucker die! He must be killed!

After the rage passed I was shaken. I'd felt the hatred of Jesus upon my heart. Who can I look in the eye now? I started running into the woods to hide. The living trees and birds greeted me in innocence and I felt both relieved and ashamed. After a time, then half a time again, I made my way back to the burnt tree as I knew I must. High up sat a woman on the edge of a branch bemoaning her plight in this world.

"I can't stand living anymore with you people! You must learn to behave!" In her right hand was a saw. She was cutting off her branch to spite her life. A crowd of mockers watched below.

"Better stop that cutting or you's will fall to the ground and breaks yur neck! Har, har, har!"

"See what I mean! So much negativity. I'm tired of hearing of doom and gloom. Show some support for once!"

"Ya dum cunt I IS supportin' ya! You's got ya brain wired wrong? Whatcha tryin' to prove up there sawing away like that anyways??"

"I'm trying to prove you can disagree without being disagreeable. And you, sir, are most disagreeable!" In the meantime demons wearing happy face masks climbed the tree to speak to the woman unheard by the mockers.

"Madam, please let me apologize for those godless heathens below. I and several others here fully support you and your endeavors. Someone must stand for civility in rude times like these!"

"Oh, thank God for a voice of reason at last! That's all I'm trying to say: give civility a chance."

"I and my friends quite agree, madam. We just want you to know not everyone is like those mockers below, that's there still quite a few who support reasonable discussion and manners, and we encourage you to the very utmost to never give in to the negativity and the doomsayers and stay the course with your sawing!"

"Thank you, thank you! I feel a thousand percent better. I must admit I was having my doubts but -"

At that point the branch broke and she fell breaking her neck. The masked demons up in the tree screamed in outrage to the mockers below. "See what you devils made her do? If you had supported her she'd be alive right now!" The mockers dispersed in silence seeing the speaker was not a reasonable person. "Got nothing to say, do you? I knew I was right!"

That night I was afraid to go inside my house so I sat out on the front steps. I wondered how to talk. No one would speak to me of the burning tree but it was easy to tell they had seen it too! And that woman wouldn't listen to the truth either, like you had to sell it to her. But you can't sell the truth and you can't make people talk even when you know they're lying. What to do? What to do...

I went inside and wrote a story of how I had a dream of seeing a tree burning in the rain. When people read it they said they really liked it and their eyes lit up like it was a relief. "What a crazy dream!" they'd remark to protest their innocence. One thing I changed was to say I stayed at the window and kept my eyes wide open until the very end. Of course, I had to imagine what I saw then but I'd use that and wait to be corrected by someone who really was brave and could tell me the actual truth. No one ever corrected me. Damn.

These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of love. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. I will make those who are of the synagogue of silence, who claim to be believers though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth.

I Heard The Sound Of Seven Horns (NSFR)

On a planet in the far reaches of the galaxy sounded the Seven Horns, sending shock waves throughout the universe. The Sound-No-One-Wished-To-Hear was heard at last. "Beautiful! Our world is beautiful!" they lied and cried until their truth could not be denied. At that moment, life and death became the same to them. "If this is life, why live?"

In Torment-That-Must-End came the decision for the end. Let Nature take its wrathful course. As each of the Seven-Horns-Of-Resolution sounded, at last the inhabitants got the answer they craved in the inescapable flash of a nuclear winter holocaust. Not a creature was spared.

********

In Darkness-Without-End were many, unable to see even the hint of a shadow. In madness they clawed out in vain, having always done What-Was-Expected they found no guidance. Stumbling in the absolute pitch they cried out for death, unable to see even a way to end their agony.

In the twilight edge raged The-Endless-War. They knew not for what they fought, only the false axiom "There must be war." Raging in the twilight that never fades was a frenzy without purpose. As the bodies piled higher Victory was claimed until no bodies were left.

A Wall-Of-Fire passed through gathering germs, scorching filth worn as makeup. Wallowing in muddy pits claimed to be the origins of life roasted many squealing piglets. They held up the Book-Of-Truth as their protection only to be burned by the holding of it.

The Ice-Chamber chilled from within in places of frozen beauty. To the eye, the great halls and houses still stood, green with iced grass and icicled trees. Those iced in slammed their bodies against their ice cage in futile freedom until their bodies cracked and shattered.

Worm-Holes formed, surrounded by great wiggling worms who called out in siren sacrifice. To escape worldly woes many jumped in, falling to the planet's middle where equal gravity trapped them forever.

The Cloud-Of-Power stormed through exuding lightning bolts no one could withstand. In hopes of controlling the cloud many joined with its hoped invincibility but were slowly sizzled in electric soup as their nerve endings frayed into disintegration.

A Great-Rust layered their objects of great desire. With the vanishing of rules any were for the taking but the rust did not sleep as it entered the bodies of those who grasped in possession. Eyes begging for rest staggered wildly wishing to see no more.

********

Some surrendered to the Light crying, "Love! There is only Love!" They knew not what else to say for they knew not what else was true. But to those who harkened to the Seven-Horns the Cry-Of-Love sounded as death to them.



Eagles - The Last Resort by arntho

The Spy Who Cried In The Cold

Comes a time in every life when you're forced to re-assess. Circumstances of the extreme or the absurd give one pause to ponder. And God knows I'm in that circumstance now.

I'm hiding within an impenetrable fortress of Gothic Germanic efficiency. This where the Third Reich takes their most valuable prisoners for interrogation. I guess I should be flattered. I'd rather have hope. I'm alive but I'm a dead man. I cling to life I know not why.

My papers show me as a German officer. Truth is I'm an American who was stationed in England. The English are big on their spy games and skullduggery. As for me, well, so far in the biggest war in the history of the world I've been a useless pimple. Soon the war will be over and I'll be forced to listen to war stories from the brave and useful for the rest of my days. That prospect frightened me into action.

I'm attached to a British intelligence unit as I'm unfit as a foot soldier. I'm of Austrian descent and speak flawless German without the giveaway accent of the British. At first I wasn't too impressed with the mind games the British play but I grew to have great respect once on the inside. In war, one fights for every scrap, no time for self-pity or negativity.

The German invasion of Russia is a perfect example. What no one knows is how close it came to actually succeeding. What would the outcome have been without the aid of the famed Russian winter? What if the invasion had started earlier in the year? These are questions the British asked.

Without going into details, the Brits attacked this problem twofold. One was a campaign of misinformation on opposing forces. It took some weeks before the confusion could be cleared up. Secondly was a campaign of irritation and distraction, assassinating high German officials in nearby occupied territories infuriated them into mobilizing forces to hunt down the culprits. Had they held to their notorious German discipline the plan would have failed.

In the end, two and half precious months of good fighting weather were lost before the final call for invasion came. No, the Brits couldn't stop the Nazi blitzkrieg but they found a way to strike a blow nonetheless. Brilliant! Had I been in charge I'd have thrown up my hands and said there's nothing to be done against such overwhelming forces. That made me feel worse than ever.

I had to go on a mission - even a suicide mission. I was feeling desperate, that my life was in danger. I'd be outcast or, worse, silently shunned. When I accepted this mission I was in a high state of panic. I'm thinking that's how all misbegotten adventures begin. I guess I should tell you the rest, stupid though I feel.

My cover as I said before is a German officer but one who'd decided to defect. That way if caught I wouldn't be immediately suspected as a spy. I even had a diary of my growing disenchantment with the Fuhrer and the direction of the war. The diary, I'm proud to say, was my idea. All in my own handwriting, my claim if captured was that I'd use it for proof of clearing me of any war crimes. When the intelligence staff agreed with me my heart skyrocketed.

But hearing about stories behind the lines and experiencing them are two different things. The mind and heart do not operate the same when you're on the spot. Suddenly, every decision you make becomes magnified and one must have the courage of one's convictions. For a while, I was able to hold on, infiltrating the heavy water facility and amazing even myself. But I was walking a high wire act.

The value of bluffing cannot be overstated. The German cogs in the machinery are trained not to question. And having a sort of natural intelligence that too along with my rank allowed me to reach my objective. I started to get a different picture of myself. I was dreaming of the stories I'd tell upon my return to England. Me, a war hero! See, I've never really been successful at anything before.

But my cockiness betrayed me. There are smart Germans too. I hadn't realized that luck had been on my side on the way in with the head of security called away that day. Upon departure I did not know this foe awaited me. I instantly recognized a fellow thinking creature, one who could apply critical thought and follow internal instincts despite how valid any piece of paper might look. That's when I stumbled.

My identity up to that point had always been one of a loser. That's when the question popped into my mind at the worst possible moment: "Who are you to ever be a successful person? You've never been one before." I didn't belong to the bragging war hero crowd. What a schmuck to think so. I started sweating and stuttering, giving myself away. It's only now days later I realize had I kept up my bluff I'd be back in England safe and sound and I don't give a goddam if it is as a phony or not. Just get me back.

That's how I ended up here freezing my ass off. My cover stuck and my nerves recovered. Somehow, losing again had made it alright, I was me again. That gave me confidence in lying. I understand now how many missions come down to simple heart and confidence. I had tried to prove mine in a fatal self-deception. But I hadn't wanted to die yet. And luck would once again strike in my favor.

The colonel in charge read my diary and I could tell he was a closet supporter of my "thinking" on the war and the future. He couldn't come right out and say it, of course, but I could read his body language and also it what's what he didn't say that tipped me off. Could I use this to my advantage? Would this provide a weak spot I could exploit? It did.

I think the colonel had plans for me. Maybe to involve me in a conspiracy against the Fuhrer in which he was already involved. I wasn't sure. But he was lax with me. So I conked him over the head and strode my way out in my most supreme bluff yet. Leaving the compound, however, would be a different matter. I hadn't really escaped, only delayed my fate. That's how I find myself hiding in the day in dark places.

I have to remain in one spot for several hours at a time. This has given me time to think and reflect. Not my proudest hour, this. I want to die with no one knowing I'd ever been here, come on this mission or ever taken this fool's errand. Doing the right thing for the wrong motives still ends up with disastrous consequences. However, this diary writing is addictive and I feel the need to confess. I just hope no one reads this and I die a mystery. Who cares about one lone American more or less in a vast stupendous war like this anyway?

Knocking out the colonel had been an irrational act. There is no hope of escape as I feed off food scraps and suffer nervous breakdowns. But in this time another truth came to the fore, the real reason I was here: Jennifer. My failure with women had defined me and haunted me. I couldn't have the jaunty conversions other guys had about their conquests. In England, we Americans attained a sort of status among the English women, simply by fortune of birth. Maybe even my luck could turn.

Things started wonderfully with this shining star of a nurse. I was enthralled by her, wholly captivated having the time of my life. I was living the dream amid the falling bombs; the fortunes of war. But inevitably my insecurities overcame me. She hadn't said anything negative or in rejection, but I felt it coming and turned on her, putting her in tears. "Doing her a favor," I told myself. But I had died with the dream.

That's when the panic set in for me to go on a mission. Now I can see no mission can make up for losing Jennifer. That is why I sabotaged myself right at the moment of success. What an utter, utter idiot. No, the mission doesn't make up for Jennifer but getting caught didn't make up for it either! Guilt is truly the devil's tool. Too late the fog is removed from my eyes. The coward's path until the end.

No one can see the tears rolling down my cheeks. Maybe I'd be accused of self-pity. Had I come to my demise honestly I wouldn't feel so bad. I fought on because I wanted to know, to understand how someone can get in such an absurd position like this. Now I know, now I understand. But where is the road back?

Has this even been worth it anyway? The war will be over and had I never gone would it make any difference? Facing Jennifer would have put meaning in my life. So this is how morons end up in the Foreign Legion. Should I burn this tiny book? Has my presence on this planet been of any worth? Soon, I feel, these will be moot points. I cannot scurry around here forever. If only I knew the best course of action to take now. Or is there one?

Gandhi And The Witch Burners

"Don't tell me I have to compete with that!"

Her brow was vexed. "Did you see that new girl with that family that just moved here?"

"Yes, I did! She's very pretty and all the boys were staring at her. That harlot."

"I think it may be even worse. I think she cast a spell on them!"

"That wouldn't surprise me. Some girls will do anything to get a boy - not like us!"

"I think we need to report that witch right away."

"It's the moral thing to do!"

The horny town elders had also taken notice of her.

"Wow, I'd give anything to get me dick in that new girl. Legs like that get a heart to pumping!"

"Careful, preacher, or you'll lose your job."

"That girl has the devil inside her!"

"Listen to you two horny old bastards. It's not the devil in her that's the problem. It's because none of us ever got laid like we wanted and now we're stuck pretending to be moral only because we don't have a chance at hot girls anymore. I'm so bitter I could explode!"

"Me too! Let's start a war. I want to shoot somebody!"

"No, no, it's the girl that's the problem. Get rid of her and we'll be able to go back to comfortably hating our lives."

When the jealous girls came forward with accusations of witchcraft the town's fathers gleefully declared it a sign from God. Town mothers were also relieved. "No wonder our daughters are such miserable little sluts. Had nothing to do with us being awful parents after all!"

Kindling was being gathered for the holy burning at the stake to "remove impurities from our midst" when a busybody traveler came to town. He said he wanted to stop the burning. The immoral outrage could be heard around the world.

The original caped crusader

"You saying we don't believe in God? We'll fight you to the death on that!"

The traveler was steadfast. "I say nothing of your beliefs, only that you consider satyagraha."

"Satyagraha? There's only one god and that's not it."

"If your God is true then rest assured for there's no god higher than truth. Satyagraha is an experiment in honoring truth. It is your God I wish to honor."

"Good! You can help round up the firewood, little guy."

"I cannot do this with a clear conscience until after satyagraha. Can you bring me the girls who made the accusation of witchcraft?"

"We don't need to bother them. They've been through enough."

"If you have something to hide then I must report this in my travels. I'm sure you would not want me to speak falsely."

"We've got nothing to hide! Our girls love the Lord and that means they love the truth!"

The town fathers lorded over the girls as they were presented to the traveler. They were confident the girls would hold on to their lies but they wanted to leave no doubt about any possible recantation. The traveler spread out a girl's clothing before the three accusers.

"Here, I think you should have these so they don't go to waste. They should fit you nicely."

The girls were puzzled. "Those will fit us but where did you get them? They look really nice."

"These garments belong to the girl who is to be burned. Being your age I hoped they would be of correct size."

"Witch's clothes! We don't want those! Daddy make him take them away!"

The traveler continued. "Because you're not witches you have nothing to fear. Take them, enjoy them with a pure and true heart."

"Daddy! make him stop! We didn't - "

"That's enough, Mr. Gandhi! I don't know what kind of trick you're pulling but you need to stop."

"Satyagraha is no trick. The truth is your daughters know the girl in question is not a witch and therefore the idea of openly being seen benefiting from her death is unbearable to them as beings of good conscience."

"That's the devil talking there, trying to trick us!"

"My dear sirs, it's the devil who wants her burned!"

"Yes, there is a God!"

This confounded even the lying-bound fathers. With the sound of the still wailing girls in their ears they grew confused as to why the truth was a bad idea. Just speak and end this madness!

"Look, Mr. Gandhi, stop having faith in us, it's really annoying. We made a decision and we're sticking to it. We're no flip-floppers! Right or wrong that girl has to go. The decision is not in our hands, it's in God's hands."

"Then I must protest!"

"You can't protest God!"

"I shall not eat for as long as the girl remains condemned. And if she dies at your hands then I too shall fast until death. This is my decision. Please excuse my stubbornness."

A town council was held that night.

"That little man is a blasphemer! We already convicted her of being a witch. We can't back down now."

"If the girl lives she'll know we're nothing but superstitious hypocrites trying to cover up our own sins. Our Puritan neighbors are ruthless bastards and won't stand for us not burning a convicted witch. It will call into the question the very idea of witch burning!"

"But I sure don't want that little man's death on my conscience. Oh, what a plague upon us he is!"

"He says he'll accept nothing less than a full retraction and for the girl to live among us until adulthood. I don't know about you guys but by that time I'll have whacked off a couple thousand times by then over those damn legs. There's no way out!"

"What if we did a purification ritual where she has to slowly walk naked down the street??"

"Oh, God, that would be hot!"

"Easy for you to say, Father. We've got wives to answer to and I for one don't want blue balls for the duration of that girl's stay."

"Then what can we do?"

Deliberations went deep into the night, with each fork in the road seemingly leading to doom. They complained of being crucified by the truth. According to their creed, the death of Jesus was supposed to have saved them from this situation and yet here they were.

At dawn, Gandhi entered the wary room. "Inside each of you is love, a piece of our Maker entrusted to your safekeeping. To feel you have failed in that duty is intolerable, beyond all human endurance. We will go to any length and commit any act to avoid this fate. But if we act falsely we remove ourselves from the true path, to be lost and blind in endless debate."

The men could feel the yoke lifting from their shoulders and in their fatigue could not resist. "Let us admit the truth and be free. We all know the girl must live. What else is relevant? The self-respect you gain will see you through your trials. You need only make the step to see."

Fear cried out. "He's bringing us into temptation by making us feel good! You can't just do what you feel!"

"I do not wish to die. You do not wish the girl to die and you yourselves do not wish to die. But this I can say in true love: whatever fate you decide for the girl you too shall share. Perhaps you believe you do not deserve to live."

There. It had been said; their secret dread. But hearing it out loud put it in a new light, showing its absurdity. Of course they deserved to live. Of course the girl should not die. What had they been thinking? To commit a human sacrifice and have murdered in the name of the Lord was to jump into the flames of hell. Instead, they stood on the cliff, still aching to leap.

"OK, Mr. Gandhi, you win. We'll burn witches no more but I have to tell you we were really looking forward to that. Hope you're happy!"

"I cannot win, I am but a lonely traveler of space and time. I know the feeling burning inside you and your desire to express it. But as you walk further down the road of freedom you'll find its sweet taste to be something you'll never wish to give up. You'll find the price of pursuing freedom as minuscule compared to the price of giving it up."

"Maybe so. But if you're wrong we're going to hate your freaking guts until the day we die!"

"As you wish. But as for me, I'm ready to freaking eat!"

******

CODA: When the surrounding settlements heard of this gross betrayal, panic exploded like a tsunami over the countryside. "Witch lovers" and "terrorists" was how the town was branded. A resolution was passed to burn the town square, their houses and farms down to the ground if they did not kill the girl. But the traveler had been right, the longer they tasted freedom and its dousing of the internal flames the more they refused to give it up.

"You may burn us, you may slaughter us, but we shall live as free people. In fact, if we even hear of a condemnation of a so-called witch we shall fast until the decision is reversed or we shall join the accused's fate!"

The townspeople serenely smiled at the red-faced outrage of the outside marauders. How painful those first few steps back to reality! The same tortured debates ensued until settlement after settlement toppled under the weight of life's desire. They became a nation of peace as a consequence, thereby re-entering the garden of Eden.

Jesus Walked On By

Now that I can see, what will 

I do without my SSI check?

I saw him do it for everyone else. Why not me?

"Hey, Jesus, wait up! I saw what you did for that blind guy back there. Does that mean we can cure everything like that? Can life really be that good? So the spirit truly does rule over the flesh?"

But Jesus did not stop. He walked on by.

"Gotta pee or something? I got problems too. Serious problems. There's something wrong with me, more wrong than I can even figure. It's killing me I can't figure this out. It keeps me from everything - and everyone - that I love."

But Jesus did not stop. He walked on by.

"Is there some sort of trick to asking for help? I didn't see that blind guy do anything and he got help. Other people come up to you with their problems and you solve them right away. Is it because I'm some sort of uber jerk who doesn't deserve help? See? This is what I'm talking about! Things never go right for me and I can't figure out why. I'm going out of my mind!"

But Jesus did not stop. He walked on by.

"Man, I must be the biggest loser alive. Not even Jesus will help me! Dude, if I'm so beyond hope, just tell me. I'm not all that enthralled with living here, believe me! You think I should check out, that I'm a hopeless fuck not worth your time, I'd be more than happy to leave. I just need a decision from someone who's both honest and certain. Only the dishonest are certain here!"

But Jesus did not stop. He walked on by.

"Just not hearing me, are you? You're a guy, you gotta understand. Got a goddam boner with no place to put it. Surely you know the sheer unrelenting agony of that. Or does being perfect mean never having to whack off? I just need someone I can be with. It's not fucking optional! But I can't do it because there's something deeply wrong with me."

But Jesus did not stop. He walked on by.

"I'm not trying hard enough, is that it? Man, this endless guessing is the worst form of torture! How am I supposed to know what do without having absolute knowledge like you? If I just knew the fucking direction to go, I'd go there! I can't commit my life on some blind whim. I need to know what I'm doing."

But Jesus did not stop. He walked on by.

No smoking hot Russian tennis stars
to contend with in ancient Israel.

"You're a real fucking hard case, aren't you. That's what my elders used to say to me but if they ever got a hold of your ass they'd see I'm not alone - not even! It's always like this, I say something and no one listens. You fucking fart and the whole world wants to hear it. So what's the difference, what's the disconnect here? What's the crime in telling me?"

But Jesus did not stop. He walked on by.

"OK, fine, I give! Just no fucking point to life, is there? My best friend is gone and I don't understand why we can't even talk. You wouldn't know about problems like that, would you? Just us cowards who don't communicate. I don't know why I can't share my feelings. I wish I could know what's wrong with them!! But I give up, I've got no future. Go on your own way."

Then Jesus stopped, turned around and came back to me. He gave me a hug that brought tears to my eyes. Then he walked on - but I didn't feel I was alone anymore.

The I-Hop Incident

"All action takes place, so to speak, in a kind of twilight,

which like a fog or moonlight, often tends to make things

seem grotesque and larger than they really are."

It wasn't until we were in the I-Hop parking lot that I remembered. "Damn, I forgot to bring my paper. I've got nothing to read."

Boredom is a monster who grips me in absolute fear and dread. It's infinite emptiness squeezes life from the soul like wringing water from a rag. I'm way, way beyond my quota of boredom. Hell, if I wanted boredom I'd go back to school. My companion, however, was not sympathetic.

"Oh, it's the end of the world," her sarcastic reply. But I was adamant.

"I don't care. I need something to read." I was already upset. Things have been boiling over lately. My only answer on what I wanted to eat that night was "nothing". Nothing sounded good. Just eating the same old shit over and over and over like in a prison. Irrational as it may be, I rebelled against my budgetary confinement just to feel alive.

Eating out is a big no-no, but I could not be bargained with, I could not be reasoned with. I always love omelettes so I settled on that for my evening meal. But this caused chaos within, furious arguments as to my imminent demise erupted as I descended into the fog of war. I had no defense for this outlandish spending, my criminal want of an omelette had branded me with self-treason.

"Don't they usually sell papers out front at places like these?"

"Oh, yeah." But I wasn't really in the moment. I was far off doing battle, defending my life. "Wait here."

"Don't you want to take some quarters with you?"

"No! Why would I want to do that? I don't even know if they sell papers here."

I got out of the car with her barking at me still but I closed my ears to her hopefully unjustified criticism. I'm already being criticized enough! When I got to the front of the building I could see the two newspaper boxes with papers to sell. I gave her the thumbs up as she waved me back.

Shit, I could tell she was just going to yell at me more so I wanted to make sure I was absolutely in the right. I really didn't want to make the extra hike over to the boxes but I realized I needed to know how much a paper cost.

"A fucking dollar! And it's not even Sunday." Armed with this information I returned to the other side of the building and back to the car. My foray had not impressed her.

"You really are a basket case, aren't you? Why didn't you just take enough quarters with you to buy a paper instead of walking back and forth, back and forth?"

"Well..."

"When you saw the papers, why didn't you just come back then? You still kept walking away like an idiot!"

Shit. I was an idiot. I could have just taken a couple bucks of quarters and grabbed a paper on the way in. But I'd refused. I had to refuse. I was possessed by needing to be "right", to not be seen making a mistake. I was only going to bring quarters if there were papers! And I was only going to bring the exact change after that! Those were my demands. I was feeling so wrong eating out, my fears inflated beyond all proportions.

"OK, you got your paper money. I'll be back after I run my errand. Think you can make you're way in?"

Jeez, is my sarcasm this withering when I do it to other people? Anyway, I was completely self-conscious and nervous as the waitress seated me. I half expected her to pick up where my friend left off. Oh, you want the moron booth, don't you? The state I was in I would have dutifully replied "yes" just to escape further grief.

Unwrapping the silverware from the napkin, I fumbled the fork as it dropped into the seat. Nerves, Mr. Bond. Watch your nerves! The exhortation did not help. I dropped the fork again when I took my first bite. The guilt devil made me do it.

I enjoyed the omelette as much as I could. It was pretty tasty, in fact. By the time I was done my companion returned to join me. She was still shaking her head.

"Feel better?"

"Not really. I mean, maybe. It was good, but still...I shouldn't haven't eaten it. I don't know what to do sometimes."

"This is all because of that woman you told me about, isn't it?"

"I'm just trying to keep my head from being blown off at this point. You have no idea what I have to go through for money. I live in two different worlds and I don't know which one is real."

"Yes, I know. You keep telling me you're dying. Is that all you know how to do?"

I didn't want to answer. "Seems so. I've got nothing to offer."

"So you ran off that woman before she could find out." Fuck, she was reading my mind, my life an open book. "Is that why you wanted to make her hate you?"

"Yes. And..." I didn't want to confess further. Which way to best preserve myself? To tell the truth or not? I took a guess. "Well, you see, I couldn't please her any other way. I've got no future. So I figured if she hated me and I died, she'd be satisfied by that." Dear Lord, that sounded far worse saying it out loud. My friend paused as she crossed her arms and sat back in her seat.

"That's fucked up."

"I know."

More silence. I could tell she was highly unimpressed. After letting me twist for an appropriate period of time she finally spoke up. "Come on. I'll take you back to your place."

I stayed wisely silent as we walked through the parking lot in the cool moonlight. I could tell she was still fuming, though.

"You know, I should write a book about you."

"'Geniuses I've Known And Loved?'"

I was getting back to my normal self with that one small act of daring self-forgiveness. But that didn't spare me one final shot.

"More like 'Something Stupid This Way Comes'."

Right Before Your Eyes

There was no mistaking the panic in the frantic knocking at the front door. "You've got to let me in. I need a place to stay!"

"I can't do it. There's no room for you."

"You have to. I've got no place left to turn."

"That doesn't make it any more possible for me. Why don't you go up to one of those big houses and ask?"

"They refuse to listen. They won't listen to anything I say! They're deaf and will do anything to stay that way."

"They're the only ones who can help."

"I need somebody who can hear me. This is hell. This is hell's hell! They're coming for me and I've got no money to my name. Money is all they understand."

"I'm in the same situation too. They can take my place any day."

"What are you going to do then? Can't you see? We have to unite against this or we're all sunk!"

"I can see it but that won't make it happen."

"Don't you understand? These people are killers. Nothing stops them. They crucify people to be eaten alive by wild dogs. Who are these monsters?"

"What about the police?'

"What police? They refuse to see me. They say I could come after the dogs kill me and fill out a complaint."

"How can they refuse to see you? You're right before their eyes."

"They said it was their job not to see me. They said they'd lose their money if they did and they need to feed their families. They said better me dead than their kid."

"I really don't see much hope for uniting."

"But we have to! These monsters won't stop, they wear all the best suits and drive all the best cars. They come for some then they come for more! It's me today but you tomorrow. They keep picking us off."

"They say that's the way of the world and that the world is good. Doesn't look like anyone plans on changing."

"Even if it means death??"

"The people who can do something don't say it means death. The people who say it means death can't do anything."

"But there's so many more of us than them!"

"It's just going to keep happening, man, what can I tell you? I don't want to die either but what can I do?"

"I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I look around me and I see the flowers and the sun and all I hear is how we have to die and nothing can be done. What's the point of even being alive?"

"I don't know. I don't have any answers. I just know I got no place for you. That's how things work. That's how things have to work."

"Why? Why? Can't we change? Is there no hope?"

"What about your friends? What about that lady friend of yours you kept mooning over, saying she put the stars in the sky?"

"I ran away, I couldn't face her. I trusted her until I found out she watched "Glee". She got too close and I was petrified so I sabotaged it just I like I did with everyone else. I don't understand what's wrong with me! Why do I always do the exact worse thing possible?"

"Don't know what to tell you, Judas. They say we've all got our cross to bear. Maybe if you had changed and been honest you wouldn't be in this mess. You always had such lovely dreams."

Jesus Commits Suicide

"You know, guys, they won't be calling this the Last Supper for nothing. Come tomorrow, I'm toast!"

"Say it ain't so, boss! Us guys will moider anyone who touches you!"

"It's no use, boys. I'm to be tortured and murdered in the most brutal way possible. Nothing to be done about it. Mob rule is the final rule."

"Geez, what a lousy planet this is! We'ez is hopin' you'd be changing all that."

"Me? I can't even change your god-awful Jersey speech. It's free will here, boys. There will be just as many assholes when I leave here as when I got here."

"Dang it, boss. Then what ya even comes here for?"

"Got me! So I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to off myself. If I'm going to die, I'm going to do it my way on my time!"

"You show 'em, boss! Don't give them Romans no satisfaction! We'ez too smart for them!"

"Right. Since I'm dead anyway, what's the point of going through all the agony? Am I supposed to be stupid enough to think they'll suddenly see the error of theirs ways and repent?"

"You can't count on them guys repentin' nothin', boss! But ain't there some prophesies or such sayin' you's supposed to get it on a cross and a bunch of other really bad shit?"

"Prophesy, shmophesy! What difference does it make how I die as long as I do?"

"Ain't folks expectin' ya to die for their sins?"

"Of course I'm dying for their sins! If I weren't surrounded by murdering sinners I wouldn't be dying."

"I mean, ain't they expecting to get something outta this?"

"What kind of nutball hopes to get something out of crucifying someone? I could be a murderous, raping, two-bit camel thief and they still wouldn't get anything out of it. That's just nuts!"

"I dunno, boss. That's how folks is talkin'. They's thinking soon as you's dead on the cross they gettin' some free ride outta that, like they ain't sinners no more."

"What? Has no one listened to a word I've said? Do they believe themselves Pharaoh? If I die on that cross tomorrow every man, woman and child who follows is condemned to bear a cross of their own."

"That means we can't be lettin' you die no matter what! Most important thing ever for you's to live!"

"You'd be out of luck taking a vote on that. Afterwards, when the truth is obvious, there'll be all sorts of people - even Romans who'll call themselves holy - who will claim me for their own. Believing that, they will do unto others everything that's to be done to me tomorrow in my name!"

"Jesus, boss, we can't let that happen!"

"I told you suicide was the best way. Gets everyone off the hook, even me."

"But then folks will be sayin' you ain't you. What about that if you don't die the way they's expectin'?"

"I ain't - dammit, now you've got me doing it - I'm not dying for them. I'm dying for telling the truth. Trust me when I tell you all the truth-tellers will be killed. You're nothing but a bunch of goddam assassins."

"Won't God protect you? If you's ain't worth saving, who is??"

"We're on our own here, guys. No favors done for anybody. Justice ends here and begins here - or there's none at all."

"You means it's all on us?"

"One hundred percent, now and forever."

"Boss, God can't be trusting us like that! It's always the liars in charge, tellin' folks what they wants to hear."

"What? You mean doing this can make me President? Cool!"

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"We gotta show them how bad they needs to reform or there'll not be no hope for no one!"

"You lost lost me with all the double negatives there but I get your gist. But only way I can do that is to go through with the show trial and their tricks to forever brand their disregard for truth."

"We can't let them liars win, boss! But you's sure this is gonna work?"

"I'm as sure as a conservative is corrupt! Why that (literal) cocksucker Pilate at one point is going to ask me, "What is truth?" Have you heard anything so outrageous!? He's going to deny everything. I can read him like an open scroll."

"Gees, boss, we'ez just sick you gotta go through that. Sure there ain't nothing we can do to help? Wouldn't bother me none to knock off a couple of those phony temple rabbis!"

"Man, dealing with you guys is like herding cats. NO violence! How many times do I have to tell you? If you really want to piss them off, tell them you still love them."

"I dunno, boss. Them Romans is real perverts. They's likely to take it the wrong ways."

"Trust me, they'll know what you mean. Their hearts are on fire from all the lying. When they see they can't set yours on fire it will drive them nuts."

"You da man, boss! You always get it right! I always tell folks when it comes to Jesus, fuggedaboutit!"

"Of course, when you drive the-powers-that-be nuts there's a price to pay."

"What you's sayin', boss? You mean..."

"That's right, boys: crosses all around. It's the only thing they know to do."

"Geez, boss, and I thought we was a bunch of dummies. But we ain't no liars!"

"Anyone who betrays himself, hangs himself. Right, Judas?"

"I must be the stupidest man alive."

"No doubt. But one thing you can do is roll up some of that potent Egyptian weed we scored last week. It will be the last useful thing you'll do."

"Wow, boss, we sure do wish there was a better way."

"There is. But we've got tonight to get stoned out of our ever-loving minds and forget about all that. Love will find a way - just not now."

"Geez, boss, if not now, when?"

Reversal Of Misfortune

"Oh, it's you. What are you doing with that?"

Those were the last words I ever spoke. The shotgun did its job with a single, booming blast. I shouldn't have answered the door but I was too lonely not to. The universe seeks out its balance no matter where you may run and hide. I always sort of knew that but never could face it - story of my life.

It was long, lost Debby-Lynn standing at that door. I'd have bet my life I'd never see her again and, well, dammit I guess I did! But you get so beaten down, day after day of "You don't count. Your feelings don't count", that you simply get crushed by the fears of it unless you're a brave soul who can face dangers of life. I was not a brave soul - and now I never will be.

Guess I better back up to the beginning. Debby-Lynn I knew 25 years ago. I fell hopelessly, madly in love with her, straight out of a Hollywood movie. Meet your soul mate, get through your period of doubt, then live happily ever after. That's what sells tickets anyway. In real life, lives are broken and despair rules with a heavy hand. "What is meant for me? Are dreams for the next world only?"

Debby-Lynn was married when I knew her but that made no difference to my singing heart. This boy was dancing in the streets. That feeling of completion vindicating your childhood faith will have you star-stepping on the clouds. Suddenly, the impossible became possible. Like Kennedy, I found myself asking, "Why not?" instead of, "Why?" In her presence I was transported to the heavens.

"You too can have love."

But fear and cowardice ruled the day in the end. Her marriage was an easy excuse to bow out. Oh sure, I told her I loved her but did I feel worthy of the limitless treasure I'd sought for so long? It wasn't long before she moved away and I fell into a deep, dark pit of devastation. To my everlasting guilt, I turned on her near the end, driving her away, thinking that would make me safe from my feelings for her. But it only dug the hole deeper.

For a while there I neither spoke nor laughed. The light was gone and my world once again receded into darkness. I took a job as a taxi driver and to this day that period of despair is branded upon my soul. I'd pick up couples I enviously spied headed out for the evening. I'd drive through shiny suburban neighborhoods of families seemingly set atop mountains I could never climb. I was a being from another planet on the outside looking in.

Passionate sex scenes were the worst. I imagined that was Debby-Lynn living the life, sharing her body and soul, crucifying me in the process. Better to have never known treasure lost. Life went on but I pined away. Was it ever any real? Did I just make it all up? I have to find my way back to her. I wrote about her, page after page, imagining and exploring the dream I saw with her. By that one thin thread I was hanging.

But I only kept running, too afraid to face myself. Then a few years ago, it all unraveled for me. I suffered a severe nervous breakdown from which I never recovered. I tracked Debby-Lynn down and she'd had her two children and house on the hill and everything I never gave her but wished to. It just seemed finally the dream was over, my hope sunk.

My running reached a new degree then even as my physical body disintegrated. I moved from place to place, hiding in the cloak of anonymity. How could I explain my shame? I didn't want anyone to know my name - all the while desperate for everyone to. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard a knock on my friendless door. No matter how unreasonable I clung to hope that one day I'd get the knock that saved me, that I'd drop to my knees in glorious surrender, heaven awaiting.

Yes, that was Debby-Lynn at the door just as I'd always hoped, but that look on her face! She had a possessed look of fury, of someone who'd been whipped a thousand times but could not take another lash. Her laser eyes did not blink, seeing me exactly for what I was. And once confirmed, she pulled the trigger, driven over the edge by frustration and hate. Oh, what seeds I have sown.

Funny how advertisers speak of storing your data in a cloud because that's exactly where the life story of each end every soul resides in the afterlife. Naturally, I rushed to see Debby-Lynn's true story. Boy, were we two souls incapable of communicating.

She'd felt everything I had, after all. Her marriage was a prison, not the paradise I'd imagined. Sex was torment, not skyrockets of ecstasy. Smiles of propaganda fiercely guarded her secrets of state. For years I'd lamented, "Just one word from her would change my life." She too was just as starved for that drop of water in the desert of her life. Instead, I had clung to the false morality of "honoring" her marriage, that I was no good for her. I just couldn't pull out of that tailspin.

Neither could she escape her prison. Like me in my own way, she'd made false starts in rectifying her life but always careful to sabotage them in the end. She wanted to say, "See? I tried. There's no point in trying." Dear God did I recognize myself in that. But the soul knows what it knows no matter how convincing our outward smiles. Hers had been seared and shorn, driving her to grab her double barreled instrument of salvation, to forever destroy the pea under mattress: me. Can't say I didn't know that same frustration.

*****

Nobody's anonymous in Heaven. We all count. Every dream is precious as the sun. I'd asked for and been given a life, the ultimate act of trust. And I duly wasted it. Upon arrival a soul is granted one wish. I asked that the heathens of hell called earth be blinded as to who shot me. Debby-Lynn was innocent, undeserving of the judgment of jackals who could never know or understand the truth. Goodbye, Debby-Lynn. Remember, the next time the rain falls those are tears of mine.

Tears Of The Twilight Child

Twilight Child
Run for the sky;
Storms on the ground
Are rushing nigh.

Parental plotting
Stole the future;
Search for healing
But find no suture.

Dogs of war
Have cut their leash;
No fortress built
They cannot breach.

Dark witches glee
In unholy book;
Plant dead seeds
To fool the cook.

Their intended heaven
Will you believe -
Or the hell they make
For you to grieve?

What see you when
Masks ripped asunder?
They sell you love
But treasure plunder.

A contract forged
For you to sign:
That when abused
You're "feeling fine."

Wheels in motion
Grind dreams to dust;
The corporate soul
Your life to rust.

"The world is love,
"It's life's the lie."
You'll be outcast
If you dare sigh.

How frightening, yes,
To face this horror;
But without the truth
You'll be the poorer.

Sorrow and pity
They forever sow;
The final solution
We'll soon know.

Time's come for
The end of the Age;
So praise the fool
And kill the sage;

But holy Nature
Cannot be swayed;
She always knows
When She's betrayed.

Twilight Child
Must face our doom!
Hold fast to your heart
In the deepening gloom.